Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Note to Self, from Myself: Floundering, Groping and Still Learning at 24

A few hours before I turned 24, I was thinking that this is going to be my happiest birthday ever (for some reasons which I would try to keep to myself) until my China Bank payroll account debited all my salary and left me with money just about enough to buy prepaid credits so I may be able to respond to those who have greeted me on the 15th, which is not my birthday, it's actually September 16. But having been able to work in a bank before, I naturally understand what these tellers were going through. BUt just the same, aside from the the cliche, "tao lang ako at natural lang ang magalit" I also have, "birthday ko kase bukas eh, birthday ko!". But enough of the emoness, I think, Mang Jessie still has other plans for me for this day.

I have come up with a few thoughts over the year, and over the years. I'm sharing these, for posterity pa rin. lol x.

I do not intend to preach, I am telling and reminding these things I've learned to myself, so bawal mambasag ng trip. Birthday ko ngayon, birthday mo ba? *peace*

* I should keep my mouth shut. It pays to be able to speak your mind-- but not necessarily at all times. There are some instances that you better shut it unless you have something beneficial to say. Remember the Rotary Club Four Way Test?

* There are some things that should be posted on fishdrownedinwater.blogspot.com and karenderya.multiply.com that are worth sharing with the world. There are also some things that should only be kept in your mind. When you open your life to everyone, you become vulnerable thus easily accused, judged, misconstrued. Reserve some for your journal.

* When you decide to assume two roles at the same time, assess if you can be both at your best for both roles. You cannot use the other as an excuse for being mediocre on the other. You have to be at your best for both roles and if you think you can't, then drop the other.

* If you have to choose between two equally beautiful options, choose the one which you think you won't regret; but since you won't regret something until it's actually done, you'll never really know what it is. So heed to the cliche: FOLLOW YOUR HEART. It may not be logical at all times and your society may not accept it at times but if it's what makes you happy, it still matters.

* Sometimes, in real life, professing your feelings towards someone does not guarantee you with happy endings and ever afters. On worse days, it can even lead to losing friendships due to miscalculation of the person's ability to understand things beyond the normal, so unless you are 100% sure of what you are bound to do and lose eventually, HOLD IT OFF. Enjoy each encounters. And LOVE, just the same.

* Do not put labels on all things around you-- from my very close friend Ma-an, most especially on relationships. They become restricted. You set up certain roles that you want them to assume and when they fail, without them knowing it, to live up to the labels and roles you constructed, you get disappointed. Things can stay as they are and you can still or may still be happy about it.

* never speak ill of the person na nakaway mo. baka mahalin mo sya ulet, tas mahirap mo na ibalik yung dati.

* and That being busy, miserable, happy, in love, bitter and insecure are always a choice.

Ayun.

Bukod dun, I am also thankful sa mga sumusunod:

Kay Mang Jessie, na bagamat yung last kong simba ay nung Baccalaureate pa namin nung college, hindi niya pa rin ako kinakalimutan. Feeling ko nga, reverse psych ito. He showers all these blessings para makonsensya ako at magsimba na. lol x *peace tayu jan*

Sa UPFI, sa pagtanggap at sa dami ng absences at lates ko.

Sa transition team ko, that although I am barely seen and heard, kahit sa spam, alam ko anjan lang sila sa paligid ligid. Ni hindi ko nga kailangan magexplain.

Sa fortywinks, na walang ngrereply kasi badtrip na ata lahat sa kin dahil hndi na ako nagpapakita sa mahabang panahon;

Sa pamilya ko,

Sa Manila at Baguio Federal Sales Team, kasi masaya ang buhay. Maraming reasons para maging masaya. At hndi mo kailangang magconform sa lipunan para matupad ito.

Kay Mamai, kasi... at tsaka... at higit sa lahat... ayun. ganun ka eh. kaya thank you. at dahil alam mo, na sa mga panahon na hindi masyadong abundant ang swerte at happiness, kung gaano kaimportante ito sa akin lalo na kapag galing seo >> *hug*

Happy Birthday Karen.
*sniff*

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