thank you Liz Gilbert for reminding me that.
I went back to blogging some years ago when my friend Trixie inpired me to go back to writing.
I told Trix that what kept me from writing is that I have very limited vocabulary and that I never seem to have a coherent idea. I write like how I tell stories to anyone. Random. Always having something popping out from nowhere. I never aced any of the writing class in college because I simply do not have control over what I'm writing aside from the fact that I don't seem to have anything interesting to write about. and that probably, no one's going to read them anyway-- either that they're bored or they've heard a story similar to what I was telling or probably not important. But perhaps just to highlight the failure, I was a creative writing and literature graduate by the way. Needless to say, I am expected to produce really good articles or insights that are worth reading.
So after a few exchange of thoughts, she then quoted a line or so from author Liz Gilbert. Something like, writing to find your self when you're already lost. Or I don't know if it was that or some other author mentioned that.
So why do I write?
Partly because, it is part of my grand plan to be famous someday. Though my mother says fame and notoriety are two different things. I write because, it is my way of emptying my head-- just like how Dumbledore deposits his memories in his Pensieve. I write because there are some things that I just can't tell and can only be felt when read. I write for posterity's sake. And now, looking and reading through the snippets of blog posts I have saved before the eternal damnation of then greatest social network conceived Friendster, I am laughing at how cheesy and emo my posts were. Funny how you are remined of how you felt back when you were writing that blog post about your crush. Sure, one will remember these things happening in their lives with their memories, but the anger, excitement, happiness, disgust and cheesiness you felt will sometimes no longer go with your memories. That proves true for me. I write because that's the only way I could find myself when I lose it along the way. And finally, I write because I have something to say.
I have been bound by the rules and by the norms of writing for the longest time. But really, what I am writing is for my own consumption. Inquirer is not paying me to be obligated to hit on the spell and grammar check of my PC. I write because I want to remember and that's exactly how I want to do it.
This time I will write with my heart. I will not care if the comma is missing or if I spelled recieved incorrectly. I will "Ignore All" and will not "(consider revising)". I will leave the margins to the grade school students learning the ropes and being graded for following directions. I will create my rules. I will write from my heart.
I never promised the universe that i would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write.
Thank you Liz Gilbert for reminding me that.