Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Reminder

Last post was on my birthday, September 16. Prior to that I have a hundred more thoughts that were left unwritten and probably will be lost forever in oblivion. You see, I try to document all of these things for two major reasons. I document life events because someday, when my memory will no longer be in top shape as it is now (imagine what could happen worse than my current sloppy memory), I will have something to look back on and remember how exactly I felt back then. Hence, I always try to remind my lazy self to write as they happen. the emotions might no longer be there by the time I started blogging them. Second reason, is to free my mind with thoughts. i always feel that although the mind is endless and unbound, my memory bank doesn't store that much and thus needed to be transferred somewhere else, like you know, the Pensieve in Harry Potter. We do not have Pensieve in this side of the world, but we have blogs, and journals-- those are probably the next best things.

I must have wrote this a million times. This reminder-- that is. But whenever I have something to distract me, like a zombie apocalypse themed series-- then I slack off and forget.

I will remind myself, over and over.

Monday, September 16, 2013

28, Eulogies at Birthdays

Maraming salamat sa inyong lahat na nakaalala, pinaalalahanan ng FB, sa nakalimot, sa sinadyang lumimot. Haha. 

Maliban sa pasko, ang pinakafavorite kong araw eh ang birthday ko. Nung bata pa ko, kasi tanging sa dalawang okasyon lang na yun ako me bagong gamit mula ulo hanggang paa. Eh kaso pag Pasko, moment ni Mang Jessie yun. So kabog pa din tlaga yung birthday mo-- moment mo yun eh. Nung mejo nag-puberty stage na, naging excuse ko na para makahingi ng pera pangshopping, at nung sumusweldo na ako, excuse na ren para bumili ng mga gamit na outrageous ang kamahalan. "Birthday ko naman eh." 

Ngayon, iba. Kasi buong araw ng birthday ko, nasa airport lang ako ng Jakarta, nag-wwifi at nagsusulat, nagbabasa ng mga pagbati at mga tribute, ng appreciation mula sa mga tao. Nakakagulat at some point kasi ganun pala yung impact mo sa kanila. 

Yung crush mo nung college, may mahabang kuda na kung nuon nia siguro sinabi baka ikinamatay mo na; yung kinakainisan mo biglang nagmessage ngayon at nagpapasalamat sa mga posts mo kasi napapasaya mo sya; yung mga katrabaho mo na hindi mo kilala at ni hindi mo alam ang boses kasi bihira lang kayung mag-usap biglang may message; at siyempre yung mga suki mo na sa araw-araw na dulot ng buhay. Ang lakas maka-eulogy kung baga. Dapat naman yata kasi ganun. Ginagawa ang eulogy kapag buhay pa yung tao-- para malaman nia kung gaano sya inaapreciate. Kaya sa inyong lahat, maraming salamat. Ang lakas sigurong maka-echos nito pero dahil lang sa pag-alala niyo nakumpleto ang araw na ito. 

Taon-taon kapag tinatanong ako kung ilang taon na ako, laging kulang ng isang taon ung sagot ko. Feeling ko, may isang taon sa buhay ko na na-spirited away ako. Kaya today, 28 years old ako. Sure yan. 

At the end of the day, gusto ko pa din ng Macbook Pro 13" retina display at GoPro at isang weekend sa Balesin-- pero in the absence ng mga materyal na bagay, sapat na nakaalala kayu. ;)

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Pagbabaliktanaw, Pamamaalam at Pagpapasalamat

Bakit ang hirap isulat ng tribute na to. Bakit mahigit isang buwan na ang nakalipas eh hindi pa din ako nagsusult tungkol sa pag-alis mo? Hindi kasi madali. Kanya-kanya tayu ng tolerance sa pain, sa tagal ng healing process sa grief, at acceptance. Ako yung matagal makamove on sa halos lahat ng bagay-- sa pelikula, sa stage play, sa kwento sa libro o kwento ng isang tao, lalo pa't sa mga paglisan. Paglisan ng panghabambuhay.

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Lagi tayung naguusap sa mga status sa o mga messages sa FB kung kelan tayu ulit magkikita, san ang lakad, kelan ka luluwas o kelan kami magsa-Zambales. Pero lahat drowing. Yng ib sa atin, nakasama ka pa sa Pinatubo. Sayang hindi ko na nasense yun. Pero wala ni isa man dun ang natupad para sa atin. Lahat kwento nalang. Lahat drowing. 

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Sa totoo, hindi ko na maalala yung huli nating pagkikita. Hindi ka nagattend ng kasal nila Maan nung 2010 so alam kong hindi bababa sa tatlong taon nung last tayung magkita. Iniisip ko nga nung huli pa nating Zambales. Yung me multo-multo pang involved. Yun yung time na nalaman kong pasado pala ako sa UP Film Institute. 2009 pa yun. Ganun na katagal. 

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Walang makakatalo sa mga pang-ookray natin sa mga sine nuon. Akala mo eh kung kegagaling nating mga critic at filmmakers haha. Anjan yung tumatakas tayu at nagsasakit-sakitan sa mga managers para makanuod ng Sweeney Todd sa Greenbelt. Yung bawal magkuda na nanuod tayu kasi magagalit yung iba na hindi sila sinama. Hindi pa uso yung status status masyado sa FB nuon, kagaya ng sa ngayon kaya hindi pa ganun kalagot. Hehe. 

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Pinilit ko sanang wag kang tingnan habang nasa kahon kang dulot ng paglisan mo, pero anlayu palang, tanaw na kita. Hindi rin sana ako iiyak kung hindi ko narinig, pagdating palang namin, yung Together Again sa slide show na inihanda para sa iyo. Kaya ayun, iyak tawa kaming lahat, parang mga baliw. Pero batid ng lahat na mabigat para sa lahat sa amin ang magpaalam. Hindi namin lahat inaahasan. 

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Nalaman ko ang pagkawala mo nung tinext ako ni Maan, habang nasa opisina, habang nagkukumahog kaming maginterview ng mga aplikante. Buti nalang nung nabasa ko yung text niya, huling person na yung na iinterbyuhin ko para sa gabing yun. Nung kinumpirma ni Maan na ikaw nga, hindi ako nakahinga at kinailangan kong lumabas ng board room, at iwanan dun sa dalawa kong kasama yung interview. Umiyak ako sa CR. Dumating yung Senior Manager ko at nagtataka kung saan ako nagpunta. Inexplain ko naman pero very wrong yung eksena kong yun. Naintindihan naman siguro nia, at maski alam kong hindi maganda ang past niong dalawa bilang manager at supervisor nia, palagay ko napatawad ka na rin niya. Matagal na din kasi yun. 

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Ikaw yung isa sa mga pinakamalalapit kong kaibigan ever. Yung isang sulyapan palang, alam na agad kung ano yung tinatawanan; yung kapag tahimik ako alam mong may pinagdadaanan ako kaya mas lalo mo akong binubwiset; yung kahit magkalayu tayu ng matagal, pero kapag nagusap sa kung anong platform man yan, parang kakakita palang natin recently. 

Brutal kang mag-joke, pero ni minsan, hindi ako napikon. Prang unwritten rule yun eh-- pag tayung dalawa, bawal mapikon. 

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Mahal na mahal kita Jai. 
Pero hindi ako magtatanong kung bakit kelangan ikaw na agad ang kunin. Kasi siguro, yun lang talaga ng laan sa yon panahon. Malaking pasalamat ko nalang sa mga araw na nakasama kita at nalaman ko kung anong pakiramdam na maging kaibigan mo. Hindi ako kailanman makaka-move on. Patuloy akong mangungulila sa pagkawala mo, pero palagi kong iisipin na matagal lang tayu hindi nagkita. Para hindi ganun kalungkot. 

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Nung papunta kami sa Olongapo para sulyapan ka sa huling pagkakataon, mula Maynila, naka-eye patch ako. Kasi, naalala ko, alam mong matatakutin ako kaya lagi mong sinasadyang sumilip sa bintana sa side ko kapag bababa at uuwi ka na. Ayokong sumugal. May capability ka pa namang maging ganun. 

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Magiging ok kami dito. Wag kang mag-alala. Matapos ang lahat ng ito, ok na ang lahat. Masaya kami para seo at payapa ka na. At yung mga hindi mo nagawa dito, sana kung nasaan ka ngayon, pwede mo nang gawin at maexperience. 

Palagi ka naming iisipin, kung may panahon at pagkakataon. Pangako yan. 
Palagi kang nasa mga puso namin. Hindi na yung magbabago.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Me Time, Writing and Lost Thoughts

I finally got the chance to have my time to write away from home. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be that eccentric writer that needs to have ambience and the correct temperature in order for one to write something, but you know when you are at home there's just so many distractions including my perennial nagging mother to interrupt when your have finally thought of something. Then the idea goes away forever. Lost in the million other snippets that you failed to elaborate or write something about. So here I am in the cold corner of Starbucks, hoping to be acquainted with my long lost thoughts again. 

Much has happened that i failed to document. I fear I might forget How I felt and reacted so the next few post shall be my documentation. I will try my best to remember. 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Trainings, Kuya From IT and Epiphanies

Medyo madugo yung first day ng Training kaya hindi na muna ako magkkwento ng marami. Dun muna ako sa mga kilig worthy things. Haha. 

So sa mga kasama kong mentors before, merun kaming kinakarir na IT person, that was some 5 or 6 years ago. Minsan, maski simple lang yung ittroubleshoot, na kaya naman palang magawa na ireboot lang ang PC para gumana eh ieexagg pa namin para lang makapunta siya ops. Hihi. Hindi ko nalaman kung anong pangalan ni kuya. Lagi lang namin syang nirerefer to as "Yung Kuyang Pogi na taga-IT"-- gets na namin yun. Kalevel ng-- yung multo o aswang sa mga horror films, kapag pinapadescribe si Lilia Cuntapay. 

So today, andun sya sa training room namin, hindi para magkumpuni ng PC kundi para jumoin ng training. Anim na taon kong inantay bago nalaman yung pangalan niya kaya nilapag ko talaga yung module ko nung "introduce yourself" portion na. 

Day 1 palang ito. May 3 araw pa. Alam kong magiging productive ang training na ito sa maraming aspeto ng buhay ko hahahahahaha. 

Please don't judge me. Mahirap po yung training na ito. Hindi naman masama kung minsan eh mapakanta ka ng Whoops Kirri habang nagsseat work di ba. 

67 Call ins, Manager-trainee Duties and Waterproof Spirits

24 hours ago, I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to survive last night's shift. My phone was literally a hotline due to the people buzzing in, calling that they cannot report to work; my leads, across all apps, would send messages how many from their team will not make it to work. I was even comparing notes with the other two managers who were also at home, taking calls too, who by the end of the day will have the most number of call ins under their line of reporting. Today, I had a whopping 67 people who didn't make it for tonight's shift. 67 out of a 140 HC. For the non-call center folks, I do not know how to describe the gravity of that, but our operations floor looked like a ballroom-- enough room for rhumba or paso doble, or a gymnastics area where one can do cartwheels freely. And for a number of instances, I was caught looking at my blinking cursor for such a long time thinking how the 67 people we have are doing.

But the energy of the floor was inspiring. Some looks exactly the same as I left them the day before, and by exactly I meant same shirt, same bottoms, same hair and same vibe. My Leads were everywhere-- like kangaroos hopping and rallying for our numbers to stay afloat. It was awesome. We, by the way, met the target today which I also was hopeless to achieve a few hours before. 

Our spirits were water and weatherproof. To my Leads and agents who stuck with me today until the very end, and dedicated their performance for the 67 agents who didn't make it-- thank you. Thank you, thank you. 

My only regret was not being able to take a photo of them. But it was too hard, like I said, we were like 5 stations apart from each other. 

I would not want for this day to ever happen again, but for the energy and inspiration I saw earlier, I hope we'll be able to sustain that, rain or shine.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Panic Attacks, Long Day and Tight Hugs

I have not been carrying my Ventolin inhaler for asthma for some years now because my asthma has improved over the years. Today, in a sudden turn of events, I felt and heard the wheeze again. So much has happened for the day. 

Still, a really tight hug will never fail to assure you that everything's going to be ok. Despite everything, I was lucky to have one today.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Interviews, Promotions, and Life-To-Date Successes

For more than six years, I have been dubbed by my agents and managers as "Suppiestar", a term coined by my agents which I really liked so much, I had the title engraved in my 5th Year Anniversary watch. Today, although I will no longer be using the title now, I am so excited with the new role and new title-- 

Thank you for this opportunity. 
This is a life changing, bawl inducing event in my life. 

PS. I hope my direct reports do not start calling me, SuperMAN. 
*wink*


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This was my Facebook status earlier. So finally, with a cunning little plan of my AVP and Senior Manager, they had me sign the letter and announced to the rest of the team that I am assuming the Manager-Trainee post. 
I knew they were happy tears. 
But they gave me a chance. So still, life to date, I haven't flunked any interviews yet. Or maybe, I'll put it this way, I have always been accepted in the positions/posts I have been applying for, life to date. 
This deserves a Life Event post in my Facebook Timeline. 
Thank you, Universe. You have been very kind to me. I wish to give back sometime. :) 



First, Kapil made me believe that I wasn't doing well with the stats and all that of my current construct and that they need to find my replacement and me to go back to being a Supervisor once again. I panicked, because I don't really know how to respond. I had newbies in my team and that I said I only need more time to improve. Kapil was like, "in this business, time is important. I cannot wait for you." But even so, i was thinking, 3 consecutive months of being top manager with Newbies under my team and you telling me I'm sucking at this? 
Before I even had the guts to say that, he already handed me the papers and I only got to read the beginning which is CONGRATULATIONS! and I'm done. I started crying. 

I was no longer expecting that they would give it since it's been 2 months with no news. I didn't ask anything about it because I didn't want to be aggressive about it when I know that the interview didn't go too well for me. There were a lot of things I wasn't able to answer well, I knew there was a lot that I could have known even before sitting in that room with the AVPs and Senior Managers asking me questions. But like I said in the final interview I had with the HR Senior Manager, it was worth the experience. And as always, I will look at it as a training ground for other massive challenges for me. I was thankful though for the experience of being a Manager OIC since I would never have any other venue to experience that, hence I made the most out of it. 



Monday, July 22, 2013

Selfies, Innovation and Memories

Going through the gazillion photos I was able to salvage before Multiply converted to a marketplace, I feel so glad that we have taken so much photos to document the milestones and even the ordinary events in our lives. 

Funny how the quality of photos improved over time, from VGA to camera phones with varying MP, compact cameras, then DSLRs and smart phones. Images became clearer and colors were more true to the real thing but the faces captured in each frame remain the same. Probably with longer or shorter hair, more plump or thinner but still the same goofy faces. 

I promise to be more trigger happy than I already am now. Because we need to take as much photos in our lifetime as we can. 

And to be more tolerant with selfies-- if only to document life and make us remember how we are today: physically, emotionally. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Japanese Film Fest, Being Nosy and Suppressed Emotions

While queuing for the 1.30 pm screening in Eiga Sai, the guy infront of me was using his ginormous S4 with ginormous fonts and brightness level enough to illuminate the entire cinema. I couldn't help but stare. Ok I know it's not really a good habit but it's tempting to know what people are thinking, or in this case, texting. And so I started reading while he mindlessly compose a message. 

"Ga, dia ko sa shang. Magtan-aw ko ug Eiga Sai, kanang filmfest ba. Libre ra ba. Kaso Hapon man ning sinultihan. Ngari ga. Murag mao man ni ato gibuhat hadto, magtan-aw tan-aw ra ta ug salida unya mangaon ta. Sige na be, ngari. I labyu baya."

Then he erased, " I labyu baya" and replaced it with " :) " then erased it again then typed "i love you". Then erased it again. Then erased the whole thing he composed and locked the screen of his phone, tucked it in his pocket. 

I closed my eyes and pretend I was sleeping. Then I thought how Ga might have looked like. Or how screwed I was.
  
Translation: Love, im here at Shang. Im going to watch Eiga Sai, you know, the filmfest. It's free although it's Japanese. Come. Just like before, we'd just watch films or eat. Come on, be. I love you." 
Or something like that. ;)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Of Forgetting, Writing and Writing

I write because I do not trust my memory. 

I write because I forget a lot of things at work, and I get a lot of scolding from my bosses. 

I write because my imagination is more powerful than my memory, that sometimes it alters it. 

I write, so I will always remember what I felt, how I reacted. 

I write, because that I think, that's the closest thing to immortality. 

-Forgetful Ker, writing this to remind myself why I write. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Travel Blogging.

Binabalikan ko lahat ng mga archived photos ng mga byahe ko at narealize kong halos wala pa akong naisususlat tungkol sa kanila. Napakatamad ko. 
Ngayon, hindi ko na maalala yung mga pangalan, yung mga fresh ma pakiramdam habang nasa byahe. Haay. Kaya itong byaheng El Nido, dapat maidocument ko agad para hindi pa mawala yung "nganga" factor dahil sa ganda. Yes. Kineclaim ko nang maganda talaga. Sana, bilang ito din ang byahe ko atang pinakamahal, worth it sya. 

Excited.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Siri. Siri. Siri.

So I got bored and asked Siri to tell me a story. Over and over I asked and she declined: 


And then I asked her to tell me a story over and ocer and then this: 






Hahahahahaha. 
Sometimes I wonder if you're a program or what. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Trade Offs, Wishes and Heart Desires

It may sound crazy probably even absurd but we all have these superstitions and other odd things that we believe in and hold on to. In my case, when I ask something from Mang Jessie, I trade in something that I almost cannot not do or have. 

When Michelle was declined to board the plane bound to Singapore bec her passport is almost expired, and the chances of getting her approved for an extension in DFA within the next 2 hours before our flight is 1/1000000, i traded not drinking softdrinks for 365 days. We got it. I am now on my 5th month of being softdrink-free. 

In college, in the gazillion times that we almost failed an exam, had theater performance in an open air and hoped that it never rain, when thesis was already on its 5th revision and the threat of not graduating on time was unbearable-- WE, Anna, Maphene and Ran traded my blossoming "karir". I always had close encounters with love back then, but never had it. But, I finished my (suicidal) degree in Literature anyway.

Now, I am helping my friend also get something she is dying to have and in turn, I am shutting my FB account for a month. 

I will still be very visible in IG, Twitter and my blog-- karenderya.com.

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This was my last FB status before I went on this hiatus for month as explained above. 

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I guess many people got amused bu this thought that a lot of people actually asked me how it works, what happens after and whole lot of other things. Haha. At least I don't feel entirely stupid. 

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A new found friend, whom I think is not as equally successful in love as much as in her career asked me if I could also do something for her lovelife. I jokingly responded by saying, "naku yug seo dapat one year na walang kanin, ganung levels ng gravity". 

But to cut the long story short, i agreed to do something for her, something that is challenging and of which I probably won't be able to finish in the end but was worth the try for something bigger in scope. And for her, it was love that she was asking. The "this is it" kind of love. 

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Before i said,"game", I first considered of it is actually feasible, given the time that we should, i should be done before her 34th birthday on Feb 23. 

I am to read 25 books from June 1, today until February 22 of next year. 
Then, let everything take its own course. 

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Life to date, I have never seemed to fail on this. It was just recently that I posted about this for a lot of people to know but, for close friends, they know that this has been happening. 

I wish I get to do all of these. ;) whether or not Mang Jessie will grant. But I sure hope he'll do. 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Today, May 29

Ginalit na naman ako ng very recent arch enemy ko sa mga kuda niya on the trail ng controversial na FB post. Pero dahil sinabi ko na in my previous post na hindi na ako kukuda unless he/she answers question number 4. 

Hindi ko na binasa. At ayoko nang basahin para hindi na uminit yung ulo ko. Nakakasama pa din ng loob pero I think ok na yung ganun. Nakamove on na kasi ako. 

Yung main person involved, bilang itong kuda ng kuda eh wala naman talagang kinalaman sa kwento, ay pinadalhan ko ng PM sa FB. Nagsorry ako sa kanya at sa nanay niya if it came out differently. But hindi ako nagsorry for saying what I think. Hindi ko pwedeng ipagsorry kung ano ang feelings ko. Sinabihan ko din sya na iexplain naman ng maayos at sana magkaroon sya ng bayag na sabihin ang konteksto ng lahat ng ito. Yun na. Palagay ko, sapat na yun. 

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Ang hirap tumahimik. Sa totoo lang. Para sa isang warlang katulad ko, sobrang effort nito. Pero natutuwa ako sa mga kaibigan at nagmamahal na nagpapayo na minsan nga mas galit pa sa kin. Sapat na yun. Move on na. 

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Yung rape joke ni Vice Ganda against Jessica Soho. Initially, naooffend ako kay Vice. Not that my opinion will matter pero dahil may Twitter ako, sayang naman ang chance kumuda. 

Foul, sa palagay ko yung joke. Yung magpatawa ka sa expense ng ibang tao, sa mga kakulangan at kapangitan nila, di maganda. At yung isyu pa ng rape, na pati yung Gabriela eh warla na din. Sana mas naging sensitibo siya. 

Sa kabilang banda, komedyante si Vice. Oppressive yung humor pero yung ang nakagawian nating humor-- may sakitan, anjan yung mahaba yung baba, pango, bungi, maitim-- yun ang kultura ng komedya sa atin. Kung sino man ang nagpauso nian-- oh well wala na ding sense sisihin. Pero yun na tayo. Matagal bago baguhin yun. 

Sapat na sigurong magsorry siya kay Jessica kung naoffend man niya. Tas move on na. Nasabi na niya yun eh. 

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Nasalang ako sa mainit na daily call kanina sa office. Andaming beses kong nanganga. Hindi ko alam kung paanong sasagot at isasagot kaya wala akong nasabi kundi fillers. 

Numero numero at numero palagi. Laging base sa numero at mga factual events dapat. Hindi dahil sabi ni ganito o feeling ko kasi ganyan. Note to self yun. 

At pagtapos ng lahat, nasabon man sa meeting dapat agad-agad magmove on na. Kasi baka bukas ganun ulit. Madadagdagan na naman yung mga sakit sa dibdib. Baka mabreakdown and cry nalang. 

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Happy Hamburger Day daw pala sabi ni Kitty ;)


*larawan mula sa Hello Kitty FB Fan Page

Rages, Word Wars and Question Number 4

This post, for some reasons, eh nabura sa Facebook wall ko. If it was reported or whatever, I'm glad I saved it in my notes. I shall of course tell the context of this in a separate blog, para hindi naman unfair dun sa mga involved. But for now, eto na muna. Andami kong natutunan sa experience na to.

Para sa former colleague ko, who sadly and gladly is not on my Facebook list, Mr Salgado, who said this: "Iskolar ng Bayan yan (ako), pera natin ang pinambayad sa tuition nian kaya dapat matuto syang rumespeto."

1. Thank you, Sir for paying your taxes so I, along with million other Iskolar ng Bayans could go to UP and subsidize our education. That may be true but that too doesn't make me your slave. And please note too, that my parents are tax-paying individuals as well. But hell yeah, thank you again Sir. 

2. Your so called taxes that paid my education allowed me to learn to react to things objectively. We do not just sit and accept whatever is fed to our mouths. When negotiations aren't enough to fix the existing dysfunctional process, we bring our battles to the streets and  clamor until we get the attention of whom we are addressing it to. But we never criticize their color, or their educational background, or how they look-- your taxes paid our tuition to teach us that it is the issue that we must attack and not the person. Unlike what you guys did to me. 

3. I only apologize if I know I had lapses, if for some reasons, the way I communicated my stand on issues offended other people, but I will not apologize for my beliefs and my stand. That is who I am. 

4. Last and my ultimate question, remind me again bakit ikaw ang nagrereact ng ganyan kaintense sa comment ko na nga? Kung yung mismong taong kausap ko almost had no reaction to the comment. Lawyer ka teh? Hindi kaya dapat ikaw at hndi ako, ang gumawa ng sariling social networking site kasi hindi mo matake that people react to your thoughts? Pero hindi nga kasi ikaw yung kausap ko di ba? So what's with the rage? Why the intense reaction? ;)

This is the end of it. Hanggat hindi mo nasasagot yung pang-apat kong tanong, your argument is invalid. 

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Thank you Mama

To Mama-- thank you for always reminding me that the world is ruthless and dangerous  but it should not keep me from knowing that it is beautiful and I should enjoy it; to fasten seatbelt while on the frontseat; not to extend my arms or my head in the bus' window while on field trip, count my bags and my things during campings, and that afternoon siestas are important. Thank you for teaching me the ABCs and "giraffi" (giraffe). Thank you for keeping me safe and for giving me enough freedom so I can learn things on my own-- even occasionally get wounded in the process. Thank you for letting me choose and lead the life I want, and for washing my clothes. 

I do not know anyone in the world who better explains, without even trying to, what unconditional love is. 

Someday, I will write a book about you. And that's when I will finally become famous like I told you, some 20 years ago. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Standards, Mediocrity and Free Shows

I was speaking to the owner of Club Mwah earlier and he was discussing a grand plan for a show-- hydraulics, lights, stage design and the whole thing. Concept so grand and beautiful and of course expensive, that we cannot afford. He politely declined my suggestion to alter some of it so it would fit the budget we have. 

2 things I have learned from this encounter: 1. Never ever compromise your standards; mediocrity is inexpensive but also tasteless; Art is expensive; it takes a lot of effort to perfect it, so do not haggle (not that we tried to haggle)

For that, I get to watch a Club Mwah show tonight. For free. Teehee. 

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Love

There will always be that love that is real, the one that you deserve and what you are going to have and hold.

And there will be that love that you cannot touch, that lingers and of which will last forever.

Truth.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Haggard and Harrassed

I have never been this haggard and harrassed for such a long time.
It's been such a long time too that I have been this happy.

I have so much to celebrate-- life and love is paramount.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Goodbye for Now, Hello Tomorrow

I have an agent who, at the end of her calls, would say: "Goodbye for now, Mam/Sir!"

I find it very optimistic and very positive-- that it may be, "goodbye for now" but there'll always be: "hello tomorrow!"

Parang Avon lang.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Kay Heidee

Nararamdaman ko na ngayon yung mga dagan. Pero nananalig ako sa sinabi mo minsan sa akin na, huwag matakot na kumonti ang mga lilingunin sa paligid para tanungin kapag nagpapanic na, dahil habang papunta ka doon, mas kumokonti ang mga tanong mo.

Apir.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

April Fools.

I never thought that I would be posting this again. With so many things going on right now, glad to still say-- I am happy.

And that's all that matters for the moment.

Friday, April 19, 2013

April 19

Kadalasan, kadalasan, tama pa din ang puso.
Minsan magtataka ka o baka magduda, pero palagi-- tama pa din siya.

Parang paggupit ng bangs
Random na byahe,
Calibration sa QA
O minsan maski sa pag-ibig.

Kung ano ang nasa puso mo, sundin mo.
Sabi ng Sexbomb Girls.

Matutulog na ako. Salamat Mang Jessie para sa araw na ito.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Sakura, Geishas and Sanrio Puroland

When Tsok and I were exchanging emails about Hanami and Sakura, I realized that I want to go to Japan as much as I want to live in Italy and France. Japan is of course, geographically speaking, closer to home but I'm not exactly sure if Japan Visa is waaay harder to get than Schengen.

So, I'm pretending that money is not a thing to consider. In this lifetime, I need to go to Japan. If only to see the cherry blossoms, a real geisha and maybe cry bit upon seeing Sanrio Puroland.

Universe, I know you are limitless, boundless. Please send me your stardust again for this.

Love, your Stargirl

It Runs in the Fambam

Si Ryann Reese talaga ang peg ko sa mga pamemewang at ribbon ribbon things. ;)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Decluttering, Organizing and still Writing

I decided to let go of my wandergirl.me blogsite after the year's subscription has expired. One, I never really got to feel at home with wordpress, although I must admit, I have loved their interface when the posts are already up. But while publishing stuff, I still get lost in the sea of buttons and all that jazz that I never really accustomed to. Unlike Blogspot which really have been my home for years. Second, compared to Blogspot, their annual fee is five times more expensive. Three, I want to have all the things I am writing to be in just one place. I reckon, if one really wants to write, some things, even the personal stuff, people would still have access to. So ditch the personal and public lines. Hehe.

So yeah, I will be writing my travel blogs and other stuff here in karenderya.com.

And yes I know, that one-article per week self note has not been carried out yet. I am trying to keep away from FB. I swear.

<3 karen

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Iska

Matagal nang inagaw sa atin ang tunay na UP-- kakulangan at patuloy na binabawasang pondo, iniaasa ang subsidy sa mga asset ng unibersidad na mggenerate ng sariling income na hindi naman dapat dahil state university tayu kaya tungkulin ng pamahalaan ang pondohan ang unibersidad para sa disente at respetadong uri ng edukasyon, ang STFAP, ang 300-500% increase sa tuition.

Bakit ba ako naiistress eh alumni na ako? Tapos na man na akong mag-aral? --Dahil mahigit isang dekada ang nakaraan, nagrally din ako, nanindigan at nangarap na makuha ang dapat na para sa iskolar ng bayan.

Ngayon, ni hindi ko matapos yung pangarap kong degree sa film dahil napakamahal na at hindi ko na kayang tustusan. At para sana sa mga susunod pang henerasyon, na sana wala nang pangarap ang magdilim at tuluyang mamatay; wala nang buhay na masayang.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Perspective

Cupcakes are pretty muffins.
Muffins are like girls who got out of the bed and faced the world without make up.



Saturday, March 2, 2013

Beyond Borders

I was spending my Saturday morning in Eastwood when I saw this installation. Proud to be part of this culture. ;))

Maski na mejo misrepresentend kami dito because, seriously, ang mga call center agents usually ay nakamaong, t-shirt at hoodie at hindi naman nagaattache case at pencil cut skirt.

Pero, di ba, it's the thought that counts.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Wandering.

Thank you Sir Tolkien for putting these into words.
I say, not all who are lost are actually wandering.
But whether or not you are wandering but is sure that is not lost or you are lost where you are right now, without effort, without lifting a finger-- I feel that between that wandering and being lost to finding your way deserves to be documented so that people who are going through the same thing may somehow find themselves in your shoes.
I am between being a wanderer who knows my way and a person who sometimes becomes lost without moving from where I am.
I shall write them down.

I am wandergirl.

not all who are lost are actually wandering-- this is what I thought and what I have experienced. If someone must have said or wrote this before, I have no intention of plagiarism. Just like saying I love you.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Escalations, Misjudgements and Sorrys

I was taking the escalated calls earlier when I came across a customer who was at max volume even if my phone's volume was at half. She was asking for a refund, which I obliged, and halfway through she had the same sarcastic tone of which I reciprocated with, "look, I am trying to help you out here with your charges. I already told you I am going to refund them so please stop shouting at me." She retorted, "oh I'm sorry, I am hearing impaired, I wasn't shouting it's just that I cannot hear you and you are on speaker because my ears cannot bear the heat that the phone is producing."

I felt really bad about it and myself. I probably deserve this guilt.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Cameos, Cineastes and Tiya Pusit

The real doctor who is supposed to play the part backed out the last minute so Maxine sent me a bbm in the wee hours to ask me if I could play it. And since my shift won't be until 2am of the next day, i agreed.

When I arrived I was surprised to know that I actually had lines! All the while I was thinking, I would play the part of the doctor but with absolutely no lines and purely nods and facial expressions, but lo and behold-- I had 5. And to add injury, I was doing it with veteran comedian Tiya Pusit and Neri Naig, who was my favorite in Star Circle Quest back then. O yes. And the scene? I was supposed to comfort them from the sad news of the passing of the head of their family.

In between takes, Tiya Pusit had to coach me because, I was the awkward doctor with the awkward white blazer and an awkward pink ballet flats.

Thus after 13 takes, we got it perfectly. It was awesome. Really awesome.

I think, this is really going to be my year. I am hopeful. And I am keeping my fingers crossed.

--1.19.13

Favoritism, Moving Away and everything Else

Because he is my favorite cousin, pardon the bias and he is moving to South Africa for a volunteer work and will be gone for God knows how long. I will miss you because Tacloban is not the same without you, Clusters is best when shared and that stopping in the middle of the highway to watch the fireworks is never fun when done alone.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Villainy, Hugs and Rainbow Brite

I was shouting at my agents and almost cursing as it was already 3 hours after we logged in that we are still waaaay below the target. I could imagine myself growing horns and black eyeshadow and eyeliner completing my villain look when one of them, Mommy Ann, came up to me and hugged me. And suddenly, *poof* I felt like Rainbow Brite.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Les Miz, Of Love and Epic Films

I have waited for Les Miserables like I have waited for love. Now thay it has finally come, I cannot promise that I won't sing. That is how it works-- of love and epic films.

Hindi yan plagiarized.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Sanrio Hello Kitty Town in Malaysia

The Giddy Kid in Me The Giddy Kid in Me

We traveled roughly six hours from Kuala Lumpur to Johor Bahru by bus. When we arrived in JB, it took us more than an hour to leave the bus stop because of the impossible rain. We were already in the parking area of Legoland , which by the way is also near Hello Kitty Town. All of our clothes in our bag were already drenched good thing I was able to salvage that HK sweater which I could not wear in Singapore or in KL because it was so humid. Abby and Mitch were even teasing me being a fan girl, seeing all the little girls in the park wearing Hello Kitty shirts. I swear it was pure coincidental.

Sanrio Hello Kitty Town is located at the Puteri Harbor Family Theme Park in Johor Bahru. It was around 10 minutes drive from Legoland Malaysia, which by the way we did not experience because it was raining so hard and it was almost 4pm when we got there. We would't be able to maximize the rides anyway. From Kuala Lumpur, it is a gruelling 6 hour bus ride from their Central Terminal. But if you are from Singapore, crossing the border, the travel time is perhaps just about 45 minutes.

The attraction's entrance is RM65, around 800++ in pesos. It is located in a building which seems to be a shopping hub which some of its parts are still being completed, in Puteri Harbor. There are no buses going to the location, as far as i know so you would need to take a cab. it is a good thing, that Malaysian Cab drivers are really honest and nice. We paid RM20 going to Hello Kitty Town from Legoland and another RM40 from Hello Kitty Town to the border, going back to Singapore.

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IMG_6514 at the entrance of Kitty's House[/caption]

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dining table with Abby dining table with Abby

IMG_6533 the sink and the pantry

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Pantry made of HK Love Pantry made of HK Love

HK Cupboards HK Cupboards

Hello Kitty Refrigerator Hello Kitty Refrigerator

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Bathroom essentials Bathroom essentials

Tala chilling. Tala chilling.

the Kitty Piano and the Ginormous HK LED TV the Kitty Piano and the Ginormous HK LED TV

I wish I knew how to play this thing. I wish I knew how to play this thing.

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IMG_6564 if you step right in to the tub, you will actually hear a sound that the shower makes. Which will kinda make you panicky believing that it is actually water

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All tired from the 6 hour KL to JB travel All tired from the 6 hour KL to JB travel

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There are activities lined up each day so make sure to arrive early so you won't miss it. Unlike us who arrive two hours before the park closes, we missed the photo ops with Hello Kitty and Friends.

We managed to catch the parade and sort of Mardi Gras which was really fun, especially the dancing Sanrio Characters. For a moment, I forgot my fear of mascots and just danced and enjoyed it.

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I swear she was looking at me. I swear she was looking at me.

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There are a lot of activity areas for the kids in the park. but of course, no matter how I want to queue in the face paint area or the dress up Kitty booth, it would somehow be awkward having kids lined up with me.

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Cinamoroll's Cafe! Cinamoroll's Cafe!

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There is this "dark" chamber which shows the darker side of Sanrio, and Kitty and Daniel being held captives. There is a mystery game which guests can participate but we didn't bother. We just wanted to look around anyways.

Kuromi is really scary... Kuromi is really scary...

kitty in captive? kitty in captive?

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[caption id="attachment_1119" align="aliIMG_6734 entrance to the "darker" Kitty

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At the ground floor of the building, the Red Bow Cafe is located for Hello Kitty serving Hello Kitty treats and things after the tiring but exciting tour of Hello Kitty Town.

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I know it looks kind of too old for me, but really when you get there, you'll unleash childhood emotions you never knew actually existed. Or maybe that was a bias statement, of course, coming from a Hello Kitty Fan since the earliest childhood memories I could recall.